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How to Grow Your
Schlong, Even If...
Tired of fitness gurus, miracle pills, and 5 a.m. workouts?
This is your hilariously honest guide to improving blood flow, confidence, and bedroom performance - without leaving the couch.
No gym. No stress. No kale.
Just snacks, naps, and a few secret squeezes.
Behind the Snacks:
The Lazy Fat F#ck Story
He’s not just lazy — he’s highly committed
to horizontal living.
His natural habitat? The couch.
His diet? Snacks within arm’s reach.
His hobbies include napping between naps, falling asleep mid-episode, and pretending Netflix asks him for recommendations.
He doesn’t chase dreams — he lets them come to him during his nap.
This isn’t a phase — it’s a lifestyle.
And honestly?
He’s kind of thriving.
About
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